Many people are nervous about doing anal, but it’s not as scary as you might think. The most important thing is to make sure that your anus is ready for penetration.
That means using plenty of lube, starting out with finger play, and then working your way up to penetration with a penis or small sex toy. It’s also important to communicate with your partner.
1. Warm Up
Anal sex can feel amazing and deep, but it’s important to have a safe and healthy experience. You don’t want to risk infection and it’s not necessary to cross anal sex off your sex bucket list, so make sure to always use condoms.
Before you start anal sex, take some time for foreplay or anal masturbation to warm up your muscles. It’s also a good idea to wear loose, comfortable clothes. This will help keep you relaxed and your muscles in a loose, supple position for more pleasure and less pain.
You should also use a high-quality lubricant that is specifically designed for anal sex. Avoid scented anal lubes as they can cause irritation and even burn your sensitive skin. Instead, try a thick lube like coconut or cocoa butter.
During anal sex, it’s important to use proper technique and communicate with your partner. For example, don’t push too hard or you could do some real damage to the anus. Using your hands or a sex toy to stimulate the clitoris and anal hole can also make it feel more intense and create a blended orgasm. The most important thing to remember is that it’s always ok to stop if you’re uncomfortable. In fact, it’s better to stop before you have a negative experience because the anal canal is not made to handle so much pressure.
If you or your partner are new to anal play, start slow. Your muscles will probably need a little foreplay to warm up before you can get in there. After that, use a quality lubricant designed for anal use (or your regular vaginal lube works just fine).
Anal play can be painful if you or your partner aren’t using enough lubricant. If you’re noticing a stingy or friction sensation, that usually means there’s not enough lube. Adding more lube will make things feel better, but it’s also important to communicate with your partner about how the experience is feeling. If it’s hurting, it’s not worth continuing.
Aside from the discomfort, a lack of lubrication can cause bacterial infections. This can happen if bacteria make their way into the urethra, which could lead to urinary tract infections and other problems.
Unprotected anal sex can also increase your risk for sexually transmitted diseases, including herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV. If you’re new to anal sex, it’s a good idea to use condoms whenever possible. But if you’re comfortable with it, anal sex can be a great form of intimate sex for many couples. It just takes a little preparation and attention to detail. And remember, if anal sex is painful or uncomfortable, stop immediately. As Planned Parenthood explains, sex should always feel good.
3. Go Slow
If this is your first time with anal play, it’s essential to take things slow and easy. “The sphincter muscle is very sensitive, so it takes some time for it to relax and stretch,” says sex therapist Megan Fleming. You can use foreplay or anal masturbation to warm up and get a feel for what it’s like between your cheeks. And be sure to use plenty of lube to help it slide in easily.
It’s also important to communicate with your partner about what feels good and bad. “If you want to try anal, make sure your partner is comfortable doing it,” says sexologist Litner. Start with a finger or a sex toy that’s small at the base and works its way up. And don’t forget to use condoms! This is one of the best ways to protect yourself against STIs, including gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, and HIV.
And don’t be afraid to ask your partner for what you need, especially if they’re an experienced anal sexer. You can even add external stim, like touching the clit or using a vibrating toy (with lots of lube, of course), to create an orgasm while you’re exploring anal.
While you should always be careful, anal can be very safe if done correctly. If you use plenty of lubricant, start slow, and communicate with your partner about what feels good and doesn’t, it can be a pleasureful sexual experience that is both satisfying for both partners.
It is important to be completely relaxed for anal, as a tense body releases adrenaline that prevents sexual pleasure. This can be accomplished by warming up with foreplay, anal masturbation, or even a relaxing bath. It’s also a great idea to explore anal fantasies, as this can help open the conversation about having oral sex with your partner and ease the anxiety that might be there.
The anus has very little natural lubrication, so using a water-based lubricant is crucial. It is also important to avoid anal lubricants with added flavorings or ingredients that may irritate your skin. Some people use mouthwash or other dental products to lubricate the anus, but these can actually cause irritation and damage to the area.
It is also recommended to wear a condom during anal play, as anal sex can pass STIs like gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, and HIV. If you’re worried about the risk of infection, you can also talk with your doctor about getting a prescription for anal vaginal sex barrier protection. It’s also a good idea to get tested for STIs regularly, as this can reduce your risk of infection.