A lot of guys want to try anal but aren’t sure how to go about it. They worry that they might push too hard or turn her off completely.
First, make sure she’s really into it. Start with lots of foreplay and do things that normally get her aroused. Make sure the anal opening is lubed up properly (this is very important).
1. Make it a special occasion
For anal to work, both parties must be relaxed. The anus tightens up if she’s nervous, making it harder for you to get in and more painful for her. So, if you want to do anal with your wife, take the time to prepare for it. That means lots of foreplay (whether it’s bubble bath and massage or hardcore porn and costumes, you know what turns her on). And remember to use plenty of lubricant — the anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication so a lot is needed.
Another thing you need to do is talk about it outside the bedroom. Don’t broach the subject while you’re both in there having sex because that can make her feel obligated or pressured to say yes even if she’s not 100% ready. It also puts her in a position where she might blow it or reject you entirely, which will just be demoralizing for both of you.
Once you’ve talked about it, make an appointment to do anal at a time when neither of you will be distracted or interrupted. This will give her the chance to get used to the feeling of anal sex and will help you both build up enough confidence for penetration. Also, it’s a good idea to have your anal tools – a butt plug or anal dildo – at the ready.
2. Go slow
If you try to force anal on your wife, it will probably backfire. Her anus is a sensitive, intimate part of her body, and she might not be ready to open it up to you the first time around. Instead, broach the subject when you are both relaxed and enjoying each other’s company.
This will help her to relax both physically and psychologically, making it easier for you to get into the groove of things. If she is open to the idea, start with lots of foreplay and use sex toys to gently stimulate her anal opening before you insert your penis. Remember to use lube, too. The anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication, so you will need plenty of artificial wetness to make the experience comfortable for her and enjoyable for you.
Some people will be an enthusiastic yes during the anal talk, but others might need a little more time to decide. If that’s the case, let her know she can always tell you no later on if she changes her mind. The important thing is to respect her boundaries and never feel pressured. There are many other ways to enjoy sex, so don’t be discouraged if she isn’t into anal right away. Give it some time, and you might surprise yourself both with how much fun you can have together.
3. Be gentle
While some women love anal, many find it to be dirty, intimidating and uncomfortable. This is because anal can hurt, and the anal opening is a sensitive area. So, if you want to make her feel good and increase your chances of success, be gentle when it comes to anal play.
For instance, don’t ram your dick in her as soon as you get into bed. It probably won’t end well, and it will make her hesitant to try anal again. You should also be careful to use a finger rather than a cock because the anal and dick work differently. A finger is a more delicate and gentle entry point.
In addition, if you’re not sure what she wants, ask her. It would be best to have this conversation before you hop into bed so that she knows you’re serious about anal and that it’s not just something you want for your own pleasure.
Lastly, you should always use lots of lube. The anal opening doesn’t produce its own lubrication like the vagina does, so it needs a lot of help from you to be comfortable. You can use your mouth, fingers and sex toys to stimulate the area before you insert your penis into it. This will also help her get used to the sensation of anal before you move on to penetration.
4. Make it fun
You might think that anal sex is gross, painful or dirty, but it can be super-addicting for both partners. It requires lots of foreplay, a lot of lube and slow, careful penetration. It also involves stimulation of the P-spot, a walnut-sized gland that sits between the bladder and the rectum, and is triggered by anal play.
But it’s important to remember that many women have bad anal experiences and will never try it again. That’s because the anus tightens up if it is nervous or uncomfortable, making it difficult to penetrate and even more painful for the woman on the receiving end.
For this reason, you should never rush the process, especially if it’s your wife’s first time. Start with lots of foreplay, using your mouth, fingers and sex toys to get her aroused before you even put your penis near the anal opening. And make sure you use plenty of lube; the anal is so thin that it can crack and break.
And finally, it’s essential to communicate with your wife about any concerns she might have. If she says no, respect her boundaries and find other ways to have sex. If she’s open to it, though, then make her feel safe and comfortable and she might just become an anal lover forever! Good luck!