Anal orgasms feel similar to other types of orgasms but are focused around the anus. Stimulation of this area lights up the nerves in and around your anus, clitoris, and penis.
There are lots of toys designed to stimulate the anus, including butt plugs, anal beads, and prostate massagers. As always, lube is essential for anal play.
1. Use your tongue
The anus is a pleasure spot packed with nerves. It’s a “gateway to the climax,” says one sex educator. You can find anal pleasure in a few different ways, including penetration (penis or sex toy), fingering, and licking. “For women, it’s often easiest to get anal orgasms by gently fingering the area, teasing the cheeks and then slipping the index finger in,” explains Megwyn White, director of education at online sex toy retailer Satisfyer. She also suggests using a mouth-size lube to add extra texture to the experience.
You can tease your partner with licks and kisses or use your tongue to play around the anus opening and cheeks, like a snake. If you’re ready to go in, slowly insert the lubed tip of a finger into the anus hole — it might take a few attempts to find the right spot for your hand and the muscles there. Then, if you want to increase the sensations, try increasing the depth of your penetration and curling your fingers upward in a come hither motion.
It’s important to remember that anal orgasms aren’t the end goal of sex, but just another way to reach climax with your partner. Getting there will be different for everyone. All you need is a good lube, a judgement-free exploration of the area and your sexual pleasures, and clear communication with your partner if you need to slow down or stop.
2. Come hither
If there’s one thing that can be said about anal play, it’s that the bottom (or receiver) can enjoy it as well. It’s often discussed as a taboo fetish for boys or something that only “bottoms” want to experience, but that’s far from the truth. The anal area has many erogenous zones that, when stimulated correctly, can provide mindblowing orgasms.
One of the best ways to explore the anal region is with finger anal play. This technique involves stroking and massaging the anal canal. To do this, have your partner lie on their back with their legs in the air. Their knees should be behind their ears, and you can start by placing your fingers between their butt cheeks. Rub the area, slowly moving in a circular motion.
This helps to relax the anal muscles, making it more susceptible to penetration. It also feels great to lick or stroke the area, especially when using a stimulating lube.
If you’re feeling adventurous, you can try fingering through the anal canal to get to your partner’s G-spot (the climactic zone between the rectum and the vagina). Advertising executive Leila has only ever experienced a full anal orgasm once, but she says it felt similar to her normal orgasms that come from clitoral and vaginal stimulation. It’s also important to communicate with your partner throughout the process, as they might experience an initial fear or uneasiness of having a finger inside their rectum.
3. Make it a game
Anal sex is fun and playful, just like any other sexual activity. The anus is a gateway to a whole new world of toys and games that can stimulate the clitoris and other sensitive areas. It’s also a great way to add a new element of excitement and mystery in a relationship that may have become stale or even boring.
Anal play can involve anything from touching, licking and rubbing to fingering, penetration and more. For beginners, it’s a good idea to start by gently rubbing and massaging the anal area with your fingertips or a sex toy. Once you feel comfortable, gradually increase the size of the circles you make and the speed at which you move around. Playing with anal stimulation can take some time, so it’s important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner if you’re unsure about how to proceed.
For those who want to get started, rimming (sliding up and down and side to side over the anus and clitoral area) can be mind-blowingly pleasurable. Some women who have had anal orgasms say they feel similar to clitoral or vaginal orgasms, while others describe it as “a spreading wave of pleasure.” If you’re feeling adventurous, try combining internal/external stimulation by using a sex toy with an external vibe that can pulsate the anus and clitoral area during penetration.
4. Use lube
For anal orgasms to work, you’ve got to stimulate nerves in and around your anus. And that means lube, especially if you’re using a toy to get intimate with your anus. The pudendal nerve (which carries sensation to the vagina, labia, and clitoris for women and penis for men) runs through the anus, and stimulating this area can help you reach ah-mazing orgasms.
Anal sex can feel great, and if you’re looking to add anal pleasure to your game, here are some things to try:
Start with licking, then move on to kissing and biting. If you’re on the receiving end, have your partner try putting their tongue in your anus to see how it feels for them. You can also try a butt plug, or putting your finger inside your anus to explore the space there.
Remember that anal sex can be painful, and you may want to use a pressure gauge to monitor how much pressure you’re putting on your anus as you play. And for safety, it’s important to use a lube that is compatible with any barrier methods you plan on using during anal play, like condoms or dental dams. You’ll want to avoid oil-based lubes, as these aren’t safe to use with barrier methods and can lead to bacterial infections. Water-based lubes are a good option, since they’re thin and easy to clean up after sex.