Anal sex is becoming more commonplace, but it can be scary for first-timers. Fortunately, there are ways to make it easier, such as using lots of lube and practicing different positions.
Some people use enemas before anal play, but medical professionals warn that this can wash down faeces from higher up in the digestive tract. It can also inflame the anal canal, making it harder to penetrate and increasing the risk of infections.
Clean Your Anus
Douching is a practice that involves cleaning out the anus with water, and it’s important to do this before engaging in anal sex. It helps remove any fecal matter from the area and prevents any contamination during anal play. A good douching kit can be purchased online or at a drugstore. You’ll want to choose one that has a lubricated nozzle tip and is easy to use. Then, while in the bathroom or in the shower, insert the nozzle into your anus and slowly squeeze a few times. Don’t squeeze too hard – this can tear or damage the rectal wall, leading to an infection.
While douching can help reduce the risk of fecal matter getting into a partner’s vagina during anal sex, it doesn’t actually prevent sexually transmitted infections. However, it can help all parties feel clean and comfortable, which is key to a more enjoyable anal experience for everyone involved.
It’s important to avoid enemas, or laxatives, as a way to prep for anal sex as they can cause diarrhea. These drugs dehydrate the colon and can cause your anus to suck up other bodily fluids, which can lead to HIV or other STIs if your partner is HIV-positive. Instead, try to eat plenty of fiber, such as leafy greens and whole wheat, to keep your anus healthy.
Warm Up
Anal play can be super arousing, but it also takes some time to train the anus and the sphincters that control it to relax and open. It’s best to start slow, with foreplay and lots of anal lube, and work up to full-on penetration as you gain confidence and enjoy the sensations.
You should always use condoms during oral anal sex to reduce your risk of infection and protect against transmission of anal-related STIs, such as HIV. It’s a good idea to use condoms on anal-specific toys as well, especially when you share them with your partner or use them with different partners. Dental dams and PrEP (if available) can help to prevent infection during mouth-anal sex, too.
The anus is a very delicate area that can tear if you push too hard or use the wrong stim tools, so it’s important to warm up with foreplay before going in. Gently massaging the outside of your anus and sphincters with fingers, tongues, and anal-specific toys like plugs can prepare the muscles for more intense stimulation, which can increase pleasure and minimize the risk of tears.
Remember that your anus is your body’s back door, and it’s designed to keep poop in until toilet time. So, while it can be arousing to stretch and expand your anus with toys or the bottom’s penis, be aware that it will likely result in increased gas and you might need to use the bathroom more often.
Use Lots of Lube
The anus is packed full of nerve endings, making it a joy to stimulate with a penis or the best sex toys. But you also want to use plenty of lube, especially when anal play begins. The anus does not produce its own lubrication and lack of it increases the risk of pain, injury and tears. It’s also a good idea to use a water-based lube rather than an oil-based one, since the latter can break down condoms, Harris-Jackson says.
Having a towel down can help prevent bedsheets from getting stained and collect any lube, body fluids or even microscopic fecal matter that might be oozing out of the anus after you’re done. It’s also a good idea for the penetrating partner to have access to wipes to wash his or her hands afterward, as well as to clean any sex toys used during anal play.
Finally, if you’re having anal sex, make sure the penetrating partner wears a condom. Double-dipping between anal and the vagina can lead to infection, and it’s possible for fecal matter to be transferred from the anus to around the penis. The best way to avoid this is to have a bowel movement beforehand and wipe the anus, Harris-Jackson advises. It’s also a good idea not to drink milk or eat any foods that can cause gas, as they may increase your chances of having a painful anal.
Be Patient
Whether you’re playing with a penis, a dildo or your own fingers, patience is key. The anus is a tight space and it can take some time for the walls to expand to accommodate an object. Rushing can make things uncomfortable and even painful, so go slow and steady, especially if you’re anal playing for the first time.
A note about hygiene: if you’re anal playing with someone else, it might help to keep a towel or some gentle unscented wipes nearby in case you or your partner gets a little messy during play. It’s also good to have a safe, discreet spot to put any used lubricant or toys when you’re done.
During anal play, both partners should verbally let each other know if anything feels uncomfortable or needs to be changed. If you’re penetrating, be sure to ask if they want you to go deeper or softer. If you’re the receiver, be sure to tell them if they’re doing a good job or if it’s hurting a lot and need a break. The more you communicate with your partner, the better your experience will be, no matter what type of anal play you’re doing. And, of course, be sure to use condoms during all sexual activity. STIs aren’t fun.