How to Simulate a Blow Job

person holding yellow banana fruit

Oral sex is one of the most satisfying feelings out there. It provides amazing sensations and orgasms and it can bring you and your partner closer.

However, it’s not always possible to have someone there to deliver those delicious sensations. This is why you should know how to simulate a blow job.

1. Pocket pussy

One of the simplest ways to get the sensation of a blow job is with a homemade pocket pussy. All you need is a couch, a pair of scissors and lubricant. Start by cutting the steal strip off a ziplock bag and squirting in a generous amount of lubricant to coat the entire inside of the bag. Then, slide the bag under a couch cushion and position your penis so it’s at the opening of the pouch. This method creates the same friction and suction as a real blowjob.

Other DIY options include a towel fleshlight and a sock sucker. The towel fleshlight is pretty straightforward, and you can make it within minutes. Simply insert a tube of toothpaste into a latex glove, then wrap the whole thing in a towel and secure it with a hair tie. The sock sucker is a little more involved, but you can still do it yourself in no time at all. All you need is a pair of socks, a latex glove and a couple of rubber bands.

Some people recommend using meat as a faux fleshlight, such as ham or even jelly. However, this is not the safest option because raw meat contains bacteria that can transfer to your private parts and cause an infection. Moreover, food like this has a short lifespan and will eventually rot or become mushy.

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2. Jelly

Most men would agree that getting a blow job is one of the most pleasurable sexual experiences they can have. It can feel sexy, wet, textured and provide a sense of suction like no other sexual experience can. But if you don’t have someone willing to give you a blow job then you’re going to need to get creative.

Some people suggest using a piece of apple pie or jelly as a fleshlight substitute but both of those options are messy and don’t produce the sensations of a blow job very well. Another problem is that they aren’t made for your penis and can cause chafing or even bruising if you apply too much pressure.

A better alternative is to use a piece of cooked ham. Carve a hole (girth and length customizable) into the meat, then slather it with lube. The ham will feel tight when you pump into it and the texture will be similar to a real blowjob.

Of course, nothing will ever feel as good as a real blowjob but these DIY tricks can get close and can be fun to try out when you’re alone on a lonely night. And remember to always lube up your member and toy to minimize the risk of injury and to make the experience more realistic and enjoyable.

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3. Water

If a woman isn’t available and you want to feel the sensation of a blow job without getting naked, water is a great option. It’s wet, smooth and soft and it can create a lot of suction. Just make sure that you use plenty of lubricant when trying this technique.

Many people also turn to things like a vacuum cleaner to try and simulate a blow job but this can be dangerous. The suction of the vacuum cleaner is not designed for your sensitive parts and can cause chafing, bruising and even infection.

Another thing that people often use is raw meat like ham but this can be dangerous. The reason is that raw meat contains bacteria that can cause infections, including some STIs. If you do decide to use meat, it’s important to cook it thoroughly before using.

Whether you’re gay or straight, a blow job is one of the most satisfying feelings you can experience. It’s wet, it’s hot and it’s soft and if you can get it from someone else then it’s even better. Oral sex is very intimate and it’s important to communicate with your partner during oral play. Be sure to let them know what you’re comfortable with and don’t be afraid to stop the session if either of you feels uncomfortable.

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4. Bottle of lubricant

If you can’t afford a sex toy, or if you just want something more realistic, there are several lifehacks that can give you a taste of what a blowjob feels like. These DIY options use items you might already have at home, and with the help of your imagination, they can feel quite good.

A favorite trick is to find a bottle with a close-ended opening that’s the right size for your penis and fill it half-full of water-based lubricant. Insert it, and when you squeeze, the negative pressure creates some suction that mimics the feeling of a real blowjob.

Another popular option is to carve a hole (girth and length customizable) into a piece of cooked meat, such as ham or sausage, then slather it with lube. The tight-ended hole will recreate the sensation of a real blowjob, and you can push and pull at it to create a range of feelings.

It’s important to note that none of these techniques will feel as good as a real blowjob, and they’re definitely not for people who have a penchant for eating raw meat. But they can be fun and stimulating in their own right, especially when you’re bored with your regular masturbation techniques or are without a girlfriend. So go ahead and experiment with different things to see what feels best—and if you want to take it up a notch, consider watching some porn to really get your juices flowing!