Why Do I Like BDSM?

Aggressive young ethnic androgynous man in BDSM accessories standing near blue wall

BDSM can be scary for some people. But it is a way to explore your sexuality, bond with your partner, and have fun.

For decades, BDSM was considered perverse. It was believed that those who engaged in this practice had psychiatric problems or were suffering from sexual trauma. However, researchers now know that this is not true.

It’s a way to explore your sexuality

You’ve probably seen BDSM in movies or on TV, but it might be confusing to figure out what exactly this kink is all about. The best way to understand it is to start by exploring it at a pace that feels right for you. For example, you can begin by exploring sexual submission with your partner in a safe and consensual way. This can be as simple as slowly letting your partner take control of you for short periods of time, or it may be more intense.

You can also explore a range of different types of BDSM, including bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission, or sadism and masochism. These are referred to as the “B’s” in BDSM, and they form the basis of most people’s experiences with it. Some people like all of these, while others prefer one or two.

While some people still feel uncomfortable with the idea of BDSM, it is becoming more common in society. It is a safe and healthy way to express sexual desires, and it can be even more exciting than vanilla sex. Studies have shown that those who engage in BDSM are not at an increased risk of sexual or domestic abuse. In addition, medical professionals are moving away from regarding BDSM as a mental health disorder, unless it is non-consensual or causes significant distress or harm.

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It’s a way to bond with your partner

The intimacy and trust that is developed in BDSM can bring couples closer together. This is especially true for those couples who explore their own fetishes. In addition, the high level of communication that is required during BDSM play can improve a relationship in general. However, it is important to understand that BDSM is not a replacement for regular sex.

BDSM is a community that accepts people of all backgrounds and orientations. It is a non-judgmental community where people can express their kinks and explore the power and control dynamics that they desire. However, it is important to be clear with each other about their personal boundaries and what kind of play they want to engage in.

Roleplaying is a common part of BDSM, and it can take place in person or online. It may involve one person being dominant and another submissive, or it might be more complex. Often, roleplay involves a script, and it can be erotic or non-erotic.

It is important to set a safe word before starting to play. This will allow both partners to stop the play if they feel uncomfortable or if something goes wrong. Some partners also use a green-yellow-red system, which is similar to a traffic light. This allows them to communicate their feelings during the play, and it makes it easier for them to find a good balance between their needs.

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It’s a way to have fun

Many people associate BDSM with kink and sex, but it’s also an excellent way to bond with your partner. The act of letting your partner hog tie and gag you will help to create a deep sense of trust that transcends your relationship to include other non-sexual activities. It is important to be clear about your boundaries, as well as setting up a safe word so that you can signal when it’s time to stop.

Often, BDSM involves roles in which one partner is dominant and the other is submissive. The dominator is referred to as the Dominant, Master, or Top, while the submissive is called the Slave or Bottom. It is essential that both partners agree to participate in this roleplay, as it is very different from a sexual assault. In fact, the BDSM community uses the phrase “safe, sane, and consensual,” or SSC, to remind participants of this.

Despite the stigma that surrounds BDSM, it is becoming increasingly acceptable to explore our unconscious desires in emotionally safe relationships. The reclassification of kink as an “adjustment disorder” and the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon have helped to shift this perception, making it easier for people to express their kinky side without feeling shame. However, it’s important to remember that BDSM is not for everyone. If it doesn’t turn you on, it’s OK to say no and find a different activity that does.

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It’s a way to be yourself

If you’re a kinkster, you may have found that BDSM provides a sense of self-discovery and acceptance. It’s also a safe way to express yourself and explore your own sexual desires. But, like all kinks, BDSM comes with its own set of pitfalls, including incompatibility, unrealistic expectations, and a lack of communication.

BDSM is an umbrella term that encompasses many different activities and relationships, from bondage to discipline to dominance and submission to sadism and masochism. Some people are interested in all of these, while others are only into one or two aspects of the lifestyle. Regardless of what you’re into, it’s important to learn the terminology so that you can discuss it with your partner and avoid any misunderstandings.

Some kinksters define BDSM as anything that involves a submission and dominance dynamic, and even some more traditional sex might contain elements of this. For example, some couples engage in edging – or forcibly keeping themselves from orgasm — to increase the intensity of their intercourse. But not everyone is comfortable with EDing, and it’s important to find a partner who can respect your boundaries.

Patti Britton, PhD, MPH, cofounder of the credentialing and training institute Sex Coach U and a past president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, is quick to point out that seeking the pain-pleasure connection isn’t unique to BDSM. It’s also common in athletes who push themselves beyond their physical comfort levels to experience a “runner’s high,” or thrill seekers who go skydiving or ride roller coasters for the rush.